Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
Ephesians 5:31
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”
This is really important and the reason I am writing this is because I failed at loving my wife the way I should have by allowing sin to creep in. Quite honestly I was a carnal religious man who went to a man made religious system believing that I was following God by sitting under a one man pastor. I wasn't taught the full gospel and wasn't taught by any of these religious systems how to love my wife properly according to scriptures. I have since repented of trusting in man and not trusting in God and studying the word enough to have spiritual discernment. If I would have studied the word of God I would have left the man made religious system years ago and also I would have known what it really meant to truly love my wife as Christ loved the church. The problem was my sin and my carnality that helped to destroy my marriage. I want others to know and understand that I realize what it was that led me in the wrong direction. First of all, I am not saying my wife and I didn't have lots of good and pure times together. I believe I loved my wife before and after the marriage, but I did not take this marriage seriously as the scriptures commands us to. I was not the godly husband that my wife so needed and that is my sin. Believe me when I say that it has been a hard pill for me to swallow but that is the fruit of sin. I am learning to view sin as wicked as it really is and how we should hate it.
Mark Chapter 7
21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,
This verse tells how bad sin is and what it produces.
Psalms 119:104
“Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.”
Are you men and women claiming Christ hating every false way? I hope so because in my marriage I was not hating every false way and it led to me not loving my wife as Christ wanted me to. I am warning any and all men who are married to first make sure you are truly born again and not just religious and then second to come out of man made religious systems where a one man pastor is running the show. The problem is if you trust in the Sunday religious church then I can promise you it will not help your marriage because it is not of God. The Sunday religious system is a man made system that doesn't train men how to be disciples and to be in the ministry.
One thing that didn't help my marriage was fellowship idolatry. Yes, I was apart from my wife a lot of the time so I could be around other men I considered my friends. I also put my wife in a position to be lonely and so she started going to visit the women of the church often. If you don't give your wife the attention and love she needs and don't lead her as the Lord commands she could start to give her allegiance to someone else. I definitley didn't think this would happen. This was my fault because I should have known what the bible meant about cleaving to my wife. A husband and a wife should be together the majority of the time with very little time away from one another. There were times when my wife wanted to spend a Sunday evening with me and I was selfish and went to anothers house to spend time with them. The point is my wife wanted time with me and I did not take that serious. What a shame that I was so blinded on how to give myself to my wife who showed love by wanting to be with me. Also my wife pointed out I was not in the scriptures as I should have been so she was longing for me to be a leader of my home but I was making excuses and letting carnality lead me. Please, husbands learn to love your wife by placing God number one and you two can learn and grow together spiritually according to the word of God.
1 Peter 3:7
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
I let sin and pride get in between our marriage because I was relying on a man to rule over me and teach me and not testing him to the word.
1 John 4:1
“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.”
Then said the LORD unto Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a certain rate every day, that I may prove them, whether they will walk in my law, or no.
So you see here in this verse that it was God who tested the Israelites whether they were walking in His law, but shouldn't we also test a man to God's word today lest we follow a false doctrine and be led astray? Yes, we are supposed to hold one to the word who claims to be a follower of Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:21
“Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.”
If we as married men would test these self proclaiming born again leaders we would see that they are not biblical and that we are to only unite with true saints that are set apart for God and we know that number will be few.
Matthew 7:13
“Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:”
All this is required by a man of God to always test others who are saying they are followers of God themselves so that we don't get distracted by mans traditions.
As you follow and obey God and study the scriptures you will know that you should very rarely be seperated from your wife and therefore the marriage can remain strong.
Genesis 2:24
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Mark 10:7
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;”
I was in a religious body that did seperate the husbands from the wives also with these activities that were not helping married couples to learn to cleave to one another. Again, I was not testing or challenging the pastor to the word.
Men love your wives and realize they are the weaker vessel and they need you to help them spiritually so both of you can grow in the word and never be caught off guard to the truth of God's word is. Spend quality time with your wives and love them biblically as Christ loved the church. I also say this because the religious body I was in came out with a written contract that they wanted members to sign to be loyal to them and it had nothing to do with God. It was a man made rule that the pastor and deacon created to weed out people they did not like but they tried to justify it. This was the final straw for me when my wife signed it and was told by the pastor that I was an unbeliver and my wife should no longer follow me. This was sinful and very wicked and added fuel to the fire to my already damaged marriage. I am ultimately at fault because I should have never put my wife and I under a lording over bishop. Today my wife and I are seperated but I have repented of my sin and left the Sunday man made religious system and am hoping my wife will forgive me and possibly give me another chance to be the godly husband I should have been all along. I am hoping she will see that God is not a system and that one day God will destroy all man made traditions and call out His true saints that are fully trusting in Him.
Genesis 2:18
“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
Ephesians 5:33
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
My prayer is that this article and my confession leads men to follow God and love their wives as the scriptures command us to.
May God be praised!!!!
